Off topic — Re: A hardcore April Fools’ Day

Whenever I think no one can top my April Fools’ prank, some
trickster proves me wrong. This
morning I started at six by thinking about whom I could catch out. During five minutes of dental hygiene, I thought up
five or six devilish little pranks and set about putting them into action right away.

7:00

I get to work and meet Luděk on the stairs, where I give him a fright. I calm him down
with the idea for a prank involving VNC, a program for remotely
controlling a computer. NkD looks like a good victim, but unfortunately his computer is off.
It’s usually left unlocked. Tom and Mr. Jelinke look like candidates.
I got Mr. Jelinke last year by physically swapping
a few keys. Surprisingly, a teaspoon did the job very well.

I leave Mr. Jelinke alone so it won’t look as if he’s the easiest target. Tomáš looks like a better bet. Practically drooling, I log remotely into his poor machine (thanks for the admin password, Luděk)
and set up a VNC server as a service. Everything is
ready.

It goes quite well. Tomáš looks as confused as expected when his
computer starts minimizing the windows he maximizes. He even tries to
restart. Luckily, quick fingers hit Cancel at just the right moment.
All in all it works, and Luděk and I have a good laugh.

8:30

Luděk is in a good mood. I improve it by telling him
about the prank I’d planned for him. Some thief or gang of thieves recently
stole the poor man’s car. Our company car
looks exactly like it, purely by chance, so I was close to putting Luděk’s license plate on ours.

All that would remain is to write “April Fools, you snake” on a piece of paper, stick it in the car window and park it somewhere he can see it. Then I could casually mention a car over there with a familiar plate… Too bad the cops don’t share my sense of humor and getting the plate turned out to be a pipe dream.

9:00

In a good mood, I decide to have some fun at our football coach’s expense.

• The phone rings…
• Me: Hello, coach.
• Coach: Hi, I’m at work. I’ll pick you up as usual.
• Me: Well, I…
• Coach: You can’t make it? Are you at work?
• Me: Well, no, not that…
• Coach: So what is it?
• Me: My leg is in a cast.
• Coach: What?
• Me: I dropped a weight on my foot at the gym yesterday…
• Coach: Oh, sh… you’re…
• Coach: What’s wrong with it, your ankle, your knee? Incomprehensible muttering and a few swear words…
• Coach: … spends five minutes listing our losses (other injuries and players with cards) and lamenting…
• Me: Coach, what date is it tomorrow?
• Coach: Probably the third. Why are you asking silly questions?
• Me: No, tomorrow’s the second, and today’s the first. The first of April.
• Coach: … clearly flustered, still hasn’t got it.
• Me: Coach, it’s April Fools’ Day.
• Coach: Mutters something about skinning me alive at training today.
• The line goes dead…

12:00

I’m planning a joke for tonight at my wonderful girlfriend’s parents’ place. I’m just not sure
whether I tried the forced-wedding gag on them last year. Never mind. This one’s still funny the second time…

keep smiling!